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May 27, 2015 at 4:48 pm

So today, we had a false alarm go off and the people called my grandma. My grandma came to my house and my dad yelled at her to come inside and to not pick anything up off the grass. My dad then yelled at my dog, and that’s when I ran upstairs into my room. Not because my dad was yelling at the dog, but because my dad was yelling in general. I hate it when he yells. I hate it so much. I blast my music, so I couldn’t hear anything but the music from my headphones. I wanted to stay in my room to study for finals. My dad kept yelling at me to come downstairs, but I didn’t want to; I wanted to stay upstairs. He wouldn’t stop yelling; he threatened to throw my stuff out the window and make me jump out the window to get my stuff if I didn’t go downstairs. I yelled back saying that he can’t do that because I need those stuff for school. I finally went downstairs reluctantly, and quickly hugged my grandma goodbye. I gave a quick hug and she wouldn’t let go. I wanted to back upstairs. She told me that it was okay while I was shaking so much. I ran back upstairs into my room as soon as she let go of me. I slammed my door and locked it, so my dad wouldn’t come in and yell at me again. I couldn’t stop shaking and couldn’t calm down. I needed something to break, so I started breaking a lot of pencils I found by my desk. I freaked out when I ran out of pencils. I started to find more of them, but there was none. No more pencils. I started to freak out even more. My hands were shaking a lot; I needed more pencils to break.

Right now, at the moment, I don’t even know how I stopped shaking and calmed down. I don’t know. But I could still cry silently and “study” for finals. At least my music soothes me. I just needed to get this off my chest because the people I know wouldn’t understand what I’ve been through.