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January 9, 2017 at 4:03 pm

My husband has joint legal and physical custody of 3 beautiful children with a horrible, awful woman. She’s one of those controlling types that doesn’t care at all about the children, just about herself. Our children are 4, 5 and 6. A little over 2 years ago, she up and dropped them off with us after being kicked out of her apartment. 6 months of continuance of court, with equal parenting time being awarded but not completed (she came and got them less than 10% of the time and still collected a quarter of my husbands income in child support as well as substantial government assistance, all the while saying she was entitled to all of it because she’s the “mother”) and it was finalized that the kids live here with us per her agreement. 6 months after that she was ordered to pay child support ($216 a month for 3 children she had 1 overnight a week) and flipped apeshit, going as far as to make a false child abuse allegation against me that saw me removed from our home and our children for over 2 months (this county sucks). The children cried for me daily and every time she had them, she told them I abandoned them and I was never coming back. I was finally able to prove my innocence but nothing happened to her. A few months after that (when my husband went after an increase in child support) she made another abuse allegation of our babysitter and he was removed permanently. Now all of a sudden after 2 years of little to no involvement with the children and constant poor life choices (moved 6 times, had 9 boyfriends around the children and told them all to call all the men “daddy”, constantly changing jobs, absolutely no interest in school, she didn’t even meet our son’s kindergarten teacher, no interest in doctor’s appointments, flaking out on parenting time, you name it) she doesn’t want to pay child support so she’s doing everything in her power to try to get equal parenting time to get out of child support and in reverse have my husband pay her so she can be a stay at home mom to ANOTHER child she’s pregnant with (Did i mention she’s only 24?). We had court in December to try to gain sole custody because fuck this shit, and she bold faced lied to the judge saying she only had 3 boyfriends around the children and my husband kept her out of everything and harrassed her (you know, typical poor me victim act), despite HUNDREDS OF PAGES OF DOCUMENTATION over the years to prove this isn’t true! My husband was denied everything because our bonehead judge chalked everything up to “poor communication” and my husband is forced to communicate with this horrid bitch who is hell bent on making our lives miserable. They’re supposed to be trying to come up with a schedule for holidays and an “expanded parenting access” schedule for this silly deadbeat who still lives with her parents and has NO WAY OF or even true interest in supporting and raising 4 children on her own. She absolutely refuses to ¬†communicate about anything yet makes constant demands to my husband. And you know what? She’s going to keep getting away with it. She’s going to keep getting away with her narcissistic, controlling bullshit and nobody is going to help us. Police, child protection, therapists, detectives, the children’s abuse hospital, you name it, every one of them has said after 1 interaction with this insufferable wench that it’s clear she has no interest in being a parent and she’s just about the most selfish human being they’ve ever come across. But will any of them speak up for us? No. No. Nobody will help us and this judge just continues to kiss her ass and feed into her victim bullshit! Our youngest is 4. 4. My husband and I are unsure if we can stand 14 more years of this absolute horseshit. Her parents, PARENTS have kicked the children out of their home ON CHRISTMAS for the last 2 years and several other times in between. But they can file affidavits about how wonderful their home life is and how great it is for the children, and BAM, the evidence we filed is discredited. My husband and I want so much what’s best for our children and we know damn sure it’s not with her and communicating directly with her solves nothing. We don’t know what to do. It’s a nightmare. We can’t let the kids roughhouse out of absolute terror that we’ll have police knocking on our door if one of them bites their lip on accident. We can’t tell her we won’t tolerate her hostile communication because then my husband is “refusing to communicate.” We can’t go against the judge’s order, but spending any more time with that woman will be detrimental to our children. I spend a lot of my nights crying about this. I hate that it’s a longer vetting process to adopt a freaking puppy than it is to determine what’s best for a child. This situation breaks my heart, my husband’s heart, our parents, friends, family….everyone who loves our children and wants them to be happy……Yeah, yeah, I get that “this is what happens when you have kids with someone/marry someone with kids” but I don’t think anyone should have the right to terrorize and control someone simply because they share a child legally (none of the children are even biologically my husbands. They were born during a blackmailed “marriage” so he’s the presumed father). And you know what? If we knew things would get this shitballed does anyone really think we would do this to ourselves???? I have so many strong, negative emotions and a very bleak outlook for the future and we feel that nobody can help us or our children…..what else is there to do? :'(

January 18, 2017 at 1:51 pm

Really sorry to hear what you’re going through!! All I can suggest is to film everything – have a camera on the front door facing the road to record whenever she returns the kids, voice record whenever you meet her (your phone should have an application that can do that). The problem is words are cheap (as you know) – they can say whatever they want to say when they’re before the judge. But what really will really show their lies are video/voice evidence. Not sure if that helps! Just hope you find some peace soon.

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