This is my first time doing something like this, I don’t know who to talk to about this without seeming like a complete ass. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated about this.
So a few months back a family member of ours passed away, and my mother is not dealing with it well. She just cries whenever she talks on the phone. I get she is dealing with with grief, that much I can understand but what I don’t get is that she keeps reliving the memory by talking out the details over and over and over and over again to the point that simply even talking about what happened makes her burst out in tears and cry. I try to talk to her about random things and keep her mind off of what happened but then she finds a way to relive the memory again (the person that passed away didn’t die of anything bad, he was about 70).
It irritates me more that she keeps asking a hypothetical question of how she is supposed to live on but then when people try to comfort her and tell her to calm down she just ignores it and then asks the same question over again. I didn’t mind for the first month, but a few months later its starting to irritate me and I have tried to calmly approach the subject but then I get slapped with “did you even love him”.
How can I deal with this? How can I approach this differently? and for those of you who will call me an a-hole or a heartless ass, I did grieve and I know different people have different ways of dealing with things and it may take longer person to person, but to a certain extent people should make progress over time not stay stagnant with the same memory. Does anyone have a similar experience?
I have a long story, and it has been haunting me for many years.. Can anyone help me with this? If so, please help.. I don’t know what to do..
It started 5 years ago when a girlfriend committed suicide.. The last thing I did was argue with her, and I can never forgive myself. I lived right down the road, I heard the sirens and I saw the lights; saw her body in a black bag, wheeled into the ambulance. The first year after her death I couldnt feel a thing, the second and third year after I tried to beat it out of myself. The fourth year after I tried to drink it away, and this year I’m trying to vent. I finally found a girl that I truly love, after 5 years.. The others were just people I used to get past her, and now I feel I’m truly in love. But I heard rumors that she is cheating on me hard with her ex, and I dont know how to deal with it. I am scared to confront her, but now there is proof.. I am just going to do what I always do, to go and just act like its fine, and if she tells me about it I’ll ask if she can stop.. I know it’s weak but I truly love her and can’t leave her or break up with her. I dont want to lose her like I did my first ex, who I do not believe is my ex.
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