This is about my relationships with family and people in the work force or online..it's under this listing because it's about 'relationships' with others.
This past year has been unbelievably horrible. Last September I was laid off from my job which was almost a blessing as my boss just happened to be a psychopath who mentally abused me for months. It took me about 5 months to recuperate but I did. I started up my own freelance business while collecting employment insurance. I slowly started getting my feet planted again and earning money here and there but about 4 weeks ago, I kept enduring unpleasant people. A pro photographer I worked with criticized me in the most long drawn out fashion that I should never state in front of a client that my camera equipment isn't working or reveal in any way that I'm not professional. (backround info: I went to take a photo and the camera didn't lock in and snap). I just switched to Nikon from Canon and mentioned the change-over and that I was just getting use to the equipment. No one minded at all and the pictures looked great. In fact, this family kept raving about how wonderful I was and friendly.
A few days after this – two weeks ago, my father who I was very close to passed away from what's likely a brain aneurism. Everyone seems to be coping extremely well except me. My mom two days later started tidying up his stuff and had long conversations about a house reno project she's involved with, with my sister. So while they're chatting like nothing happened at the dinner table, I'm bawling my eyes out. I joined a FB bereavement group, talked about my raw emotions about losing my dad and how I had no one to talk to, and most people's responses were to criticize me for not 'getting' what my mom was going through..so that's a great approach, make someone who feels depressed, feel guilty or paranoid for saying the wrong things and being misunderstood..bravo.
In this same online group, someone talked about how their mother isn't dead yet but may likely pass away soon from cancer so they're already grieving. Instead of writing what every other person was, namely – 'my sympathies to you', I decided to offer some help that may prove to work or not work out for this person. My cat has pancreatic cancer. I've worked closely with a holistic vet to control the disease and as such my cat has exceeded the 'allocated' life span and is thriving and healthy. These aren't silly little herbs he's getting, he's on stuff that's used around the world to successfully battle cancer but isn't part of the big 'pharma' brands, that's all. I thought this guy might want his mom to have some sort of 'possible' chance to live a bit longer..better to have tried and failed, then never to have tried at all. The response? Some other poster lashed out at me that I was inconsiderate, how dare I compare a cat to a person (we share the same response system which is why I did and consequently use the same drugs/therapy) and went on to make personal accusations about how I stated all of this for some sort of person gain and a chance to share my 'woo woo' story – rubbing it in their faces..WTF?!!! So that was the end of the support group which just damaged me further.
A couple of days ago, this 'pro' photographer called to tell me that my pictures were 'soft'. Canon images (as I had to use my old equipment at the last shoot) are intentionally soft and require a sharpness increase. Most people know that in this business but he just had to call to complain – again. It seemed that no matter what I told him, he didn't register it..and had a response of 'yeah..I wasn't sure if I was missing something..yeah…hmm..'. What an IDIOT! God help me if I ever work with him again.
Today, a fellow freelancer reamed me out because I couldn't do a job for his client. He personally referred me to this man. Instead of telling them sorry no, and leaving them high and dry, I pulled someone else into the equation to provide an estimate. In order for this designer to do so, I had to give him this client's requirements and the copy for the website. This designer makes my stuff look amateur, he's that good. I thought I did everyone a service but according to this freelancer, I made him look unprofessional, I breached confidentiality terms and the list went on..it was a nice long email of my failures and his dissapointements.
It's gotten to the point where I hate waking up in the mornings. I absolutely hate all of the dealings I endure every day with people. I miss my dad who always empathized with me and was so kind. It feels like society has gone to complete shit truth be told.
You are an awesome person for taking all of this in stride. People can be assholes and thoughtless when it comes to other people's feelings. Keep your head up – in the end it is your opinion that matters, not theirs! I'm sorry for your loss, I can't imagine loosing a close loved one – but I think your Father would be proud of you and the effort you constantly put forth in your life!!
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