Ok so I’m a 25 year old female keyboardist and I’m in a band.
I need some advice for the next issue.
I met this guy two years ago. He called me to be part of his metal band. He is the composer and the bassist. It couldn’t happen, it wasn’t the right timing (personal issues) and we stopped seeing each other.
I really liked his music, it was orchestrated and stuff… then I knew he started a band online and it’s having great comments and lots of kudos all over the internet.
Two years later we started to talk again on facebook and I invited him to a party. Well we kissed and had sex in the party and started to sorta date…
Then he came up with the idea to form the band again and if I wanted to be the keyboard player. I said yes.
He was feeling down and depressed and I wanted to make him feel better so I constantly visited him to know he was okay, and tried to show him I was a friend, not that I only wanted to have sex with him or make up. We only had sex once.
So he told me about himself and I really liked him. Like he was having a hard time because his mom was a total bitch and his ex cheated on him and he was so sad , he wanted to commit suicide.
I started to like him and told him but at the same time I was worried about being in a band with him and having a relationship so I took distance and just tried to be there for him as a good friend.
So we started rehearsing with the drum player, guitar player and a female singer.
Soon he forgot about me and I decided to stop talking to him cause if he didn’t want my company, I wouldn’t bother him.
Then some rehearsals later we realized he was dating the singer.
They started to flirt during the rehearsals, and the other members of the band got worried so they talked with me about the problem he had with female singers; that he started a relationship with them, then they started to have problems and couldn’t separate his romantic relationships from the band and of course it altered the dynamic. Then, he didn’t feel like demanding improvement and they failed and got lazy, and finally they broke up and the singers had to leave the band.
They talked about it as if it was a pattern. He also did the same with the marketing girl, the violinist and every girl that came into the band. That’s why they always left. Then these guys started to tell me a lot of negative things he does, like he gossips, he talks from behind, he fucks all the girls and he just screws up and can’t take the band forward because of this. I was surprised and dissappointed because he always wore a victim good boy mask with me.
We recently prepared a press kit for an important ticket sale company on my country to start to open for important metal bands, big things are supposed to be on the way…
The things is
1. I’m not cool with the fact that he dates every girl that comes into the band. He said he didn’t want it to be a loss of time and he’s not being professional at all.
2. I thought he was different from what he really is so I can’t trust him anymore and he’s leading the band. He lied to me and the members of the band don’t trust him either.
4. It hasn’t happened anything wrong yet but I don’t know If I wanna see how it collapses.
So I don’t know if I need to leave this place or remain for a promise…
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