I JUST NEED TO VENT AND SOMEONE MAYBE HERE IT.
MY PERSONAL LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW. I HATE TO GO HOME AND BE AROUND THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD. I'M SO FED UP WITH HER LAZINESS AND LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY.
LET ME ELLABORATE. SEVERAL YEARS AGO I GOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL I HAD KNOWN FOR YEARS SOCIALLY. WE BECAME A COUPLE AND AFTER A NIGHT OF DRINKING AT THE BEACH, WE CONCEIVED A CHILD. SINCE THEN IT HAS GONE DOWNHILL FAST. SHE IS THE LAZYIST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. I GO TO WORK EVERYDAY AND ON MANY WEEKENDS I'M CATCHING UP ON ALL THE HOUSEWORK. I DO 95% OF THE HOUSEWORK(PROBABLY GIVING HER TO MUCH CREDIT), ALL THE YARDWORK, ALL THE COOKING, AND 97% OF THE SHOPPING. WHILE DOING ALL THIS I FIND THE TIME TO SPEND WITH MY ADORABLE DAUGHTER. I WATCH HER IN THE MORNINGS WHILE MOM GETS READY, I HELP BATH HER, I HELP PUT HER TO BED, I HELP FEED HER, I TAKE HER SHOPPING WITH ME, I TAKE HER TO WORK SOME, I HELP WITH EVERYTHING.
THE PROBLEM IS THAT MOM THINKS SHE HAS IT HARD. SHE NEVER LIFTS A FINGER TO HELP AROUND THE HOUSE. I'VE ASKED HER TO HELP AND IT ALWAYS STARTS AN ARGUEMENT TO WHICH SOMEHOW IT'S ALWAYS MY FAULT. THE LATEST EXCUSE IS THAT I DON'T LET HER HELP AROUND THE HOUSE. TAKE SOME INITIATIVE. I HAVE PURPOSELY NOT CLEANED IN DAYS TO SEE IF SHE WILL GET OFF HER LAZY BUTT AND DO SOMETHING. YEAH RIGHT! I CAN ONLY GO SO LONG BEFORE I DO IT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT A DIRTY HOUSE. I WOULD KICK HER OUT BUT SHE WILL TAKE MY DAUGHTER AND I WANT MY DAUGHTER WITH ME EVERYDAY. MY STATE ALMOST NEVER GIVES CUSTODY TO THE FATHER WHICH IS TOTAL BS. IF SOMEONE COULD HAVE SEEN THE FILTH SHE LIVED IN BEFORE SHE MOVED INTO MY HOME YOU WOULD REALIZE THAT MY DAUGHTER IS BETTER OFF WITH ME. I CAN'T SEND MY DAUGHTER TO LIVE IN WHAT I SAW WHEN WE SOLD HER HOUSE. OMG ITS WAS DISGUSTING AND WHEN CONFRONTED SHE DENIED IT AND SAID IT ONLY HAPPENED IN A SHORT TIME FRAME. THAT KIND OF DAMAGE, FILTH, AND ODORS TAKES YEARS TO ACCUMULATE. THE HOUSE HAD TO BE GUTTED TO GET RID OF THE ANIMAL PISS. I PAY ALL THE BILLS, TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE, AND COOK. I'M THE PRIMARY “BREAD WINNER” AND I NEED HELP. I HAVE NO LIFE, NO DOWN TIME, AND I STAY STRESSED! I PRAY EVERYDAY FOR THE LORD TO GIVE ME THE STRENGHT TO CONTINUE LIVING WITH THIS WOMAN AND HELP ME FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GAIN CUSTODY OF MY DAUGHTER AND GET THIS LAZY PERSON OUT OF MY HOUSE. I HAVE LEARNED THAT SHE IS JUST LIKE HER MOTHER. HER FATHER DOES MOST EVERYTHING AT THEIR HOUSE. HER MOTHER HAS ONLY SEEN MY DAUGHTER 2 TIMES. ONCE WHEN SHE WAS BORN AND ONCE THIS SUMMER. MY DAUGHTER WILL BE 2 IN JANUARY AND THE GRANDPARENTS LIVE LESS THAN 1 MILE AWAY. MY PARENTS LIVE 4 HOURS AWAY AND THEY MANAGE TO SHE MY DAUGHTER A COUPLE TIMES A MONTH. WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO AND HOW DO I GET OUT OF IT WHILE KEEPING MY DAUGHTER. ARRRGGGHHHH!!!! I DONT WANT MY DAUGHTER TO GROW UP THINKING THIS IS A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO 50/50? THIS LAZY WOMAN HAS IT MADE AND DOESN'T SEE IT. WE HAVE HAD MEETINGS WITH OTHER COUPLES WHEN THIS ARGUEMENT COMES UP AND EVEN THEY HAVE TOLD HER SHE NEEDS TO HELP OUT MORE. I'M A GREAT DAD WHO LOVES HIS DAUGHTER AND WOULD AND WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP HER IN MY LIFE. INCLUDING PUTTING UP WITH HER LAZY MOTHER. AND SHE WONDERS WHY SHE IS GAINING WEIGHT. OH OH OH, I KNOW(HAND RAISED)! ITS BECAUSE YOU SIT ON YOUR LAZY BUTT ALL THE TIME AND DO NOTHING!!!
LET ME ADD I HAVE GIVEN UP GOLF, SEASON FOOTBALL TICKETS, SOFTBALL, AND ALL MY STRESS OUTLETS.
Whew! Sure does sound like you put up with a lot! I know the feeling. You can get my story by reading my post about my jobless boyfriend. I was so mad that day, that I couldn't even form the words to make th post any longer. So, I know your frustration. You can bitch til you're blue in the face, and the bitch is never gonna get it! I'm in the same place. My jobless a-hole doesn't seem like he gives a rat's ass about anyone but himself. In your case What makes it even more disturbing is there is a wonderful, precious child involved! It really pains me to hear something like that. I just can't believe someone could take such a thing for granted! I would give anything to be a mom! I never had kids, and at the age I am, I fear time is running out. It's a dream I have to give up. I always thought there would be time I guess. Here I see someone who has something I wish I had, and they don't care. Really makes me sad.
You also said the house smelled like piss. Tells me right there that she doesn't even take care of animals. Those I do have. In fact, my tiny house is home to three dogs and one cat, and you wouldn't know it! I don't allow messes to ever go uncleaned. I can't! It would get out of control and my home is too important to me to ruin it. I also owe it to my pets to be responsible and care for them properly. I know what it feels like to do all the work! My lazy ass boyfriend would do ANYTHING for anyone else, but I am always last on his list. He's going to find out someday how far down the list he really is himself! If I ask him to do something, it's a huge deal to him. The only way it gets done is if he wants it done.
I guess we really should give her the benefit of the doubt. Does she have any history of mental problems such as depression? Depression can cause someone to just not care about anything including their own living conditions. Otherwise important things just don't matter. See if you can get her talked into some counseling of her own as well as some for you both as a couple. If it's not too late in your mind. As far as your situation with your daughter. She must be first priority. Take notes, and take pictures. Document everything. If you decide divorce is the way you want to go, all of this evidence and a good lawyer will be all you need to make sure your daughter stays with you. I wish you all the luck in the world. Know there is someone out there who knows your pain, and sympathizes!
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