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November 3, 2017 at 10:43 am

So this may be a little long. This involves a friend I met not very long ago, but we became VERY close VERY quick.

When social media first began, I was ALL IN. I had Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, you name it. Granted, this all started in high school. I’m now 24. But since getting married and trying for kids, I have decided that I would MUCH rather focus on life rather than the life I portray on social media. I’m on a computer ALL day at work Monday-Friday 9-5. The last thing I want to do is worry about what people think about me online once I’m home from work.

The friend I mentioned in the title is a well known cosplayer in the town where she lives. She goes around to very conventions (comic cons) dressed as her favorite characters and absolutely LOVES being in the limelight. She even aspires to be famous one day. Personally, I hate being the center of attention and while I also love to cosplay and go to conventions….I don’t eat up the attention as much as she does.

As time went on we added each other on everything! We went to conventions together, planned trips, got to know each others families, etc. Exactly what you would expect from a friend. But whenever she was with me, she was CONSTANTLY on her phone. I would be driving her around my town (since she’s not used to it here) and would be trying to talk to her while I was driving. If I glanced over, she was taking snapchats and millions of selfies. She would post them on Instagram and ask my opinion of which filter looked better and which one I thought was a better picture of her. She would BLARE the radio and put the song at the perfect spot for her social media spotlight. If I talked and messed it up…she would start all over. She even was trying to get me to be in snapchats while I was driving!

So once she left and went back to her hometown, I felt it was time to get rid of the last bits of social media I had. At this point all that was left was Instagram and Snapchat. So one day, I deleted Instagram and IMMEDIATELY got a text message asking where my account had gone. I explained what happened and she wasn’t happy. About a week goes by and I decide to officially  cut the final cord: Snapchat. Again…immediately get a text message asking if “I’m okay” and if “I need someone to talk to”. Why deleting my social media accounts equates to me not being okay…I don’t know but I explained my reasoning to her.

It has always been my goal to be off of social media by the time my husband and I were trying for kids. I didn’t want my child’s face plastered all over the internet. Not because I’m worried what someone will do with the pictures or that they’ll stalk my kid or anything. It is simply my belief that if you are my friend….you will be present in my life. I shouldn’t have to snapchat you pictures of my kid. If you TRULY are my friend you will be a part of my child’s life. She doesn’t understand.

Am I being ridiculous? Is it wrong of me to want to focus on my life rather than my phone? Since leaving social media I have been 1,000 times happier. I read more books, I am writing again, I’m spending more time with family. Why does she feel that not having social media is “wrong” in 2017?

November 4, 2017 at 5:22 pm

No , you’re not. Social media has become overwhelmingly unhealthy now in days. I used to be obsessed with it as well because im very awkward and it makes it hard to find friends. It was good for a while till i started to become very hostile and soft and i had no clue what was making me that way till i put down my phone. It was hard but i stayed away from social media for a week and i was so much more happier for those couple of days. Afterwards i found myself needing it less and less and began to notice how much pressure had been taken off my shoulders the more i stayed away from it.   So i can understand that part. As for your friend , with society being invested in social media like money ( and hence money equals living ) it’s..”natural” for her to be concerned. Social media is basically like a second life and usually when someone deletes it it’s seen as very drastic and means something horrible has happened. I’m not sure if you talk too much anymore but she’ll eventually grow out of it. Everyone just needs time to mature..


P.S- If you are gonna share pictures of your kids try restraining yourself from posting too much on facebook. Im 14 and searching my name on facebook or at least scrolling through my mom’s account gives away way more information than im comfortable with. It’s actually pretty scary.