10 years ago I met the love of my life or so i thought. We had a little boy together but never married. After 8 years of engagement he broke it off. We stayed friends and lived together while he went and found his “soulmate” They had a little girl. Due to finaces and my little boys behavioral issues, they had to give up their daughter to the grandparents. The mother still visits her daughter and spends time with her the father does not. We expanded our family by adding furbabies (rats, ferrets, hamsters, snakes, fish, bearded dragons, and a guinea pig. We then extended our family again by inviting the mothers childhood friends to live with us to help financially because at the time they were living in a van.
Now he is going through I guess I would call it a mid-life crisis. He is pushing everyone away and is trying to get the mother to leave her baby, dump her, send me and my son away, and go back to his old life. His old life was not a good one to say the least. If I leave, I strand the mother who has become a friend in need, I leave my friends, and the perks for my son like the drs. who know about his behavior and the amazing school he is in that helps him overcome his issues as well.
If i do stay, I miss out on moving to a state where I have family, friends, and support while I am in college. There are other nice things to moving, but I would be burning a ton of bridges if I do go.
The father has some type of issues. i don’t know what they are but he self sabotages every relationship that he has. I really care for him and don’t want him to lose his son because of his stupidity. I can’t talk to my friends because while they live with us and help out when they can, are affected by this too so they have no opinion on what we should do. I am at wits end and would kinda like to leave but part of me thinks we can work this through. If we can make it past this hurdle maybe he will wake up and realize what he is doing wrong and he can patch up his relationship with the mother.
If I take this up with my family, I would have no say in the matter and they would come and get me at the drop of a hat.
It’s Simple. Move.
This is all toxic , the idea of even staying around and trying to “work things out” makes zero sense to me. You clearly have no idea what to do , unless you’re waiting for a miracle to happen. You all need to leave. He’s doing nothing but trying to distract himself. When there are no distractions left and a white wall no longer interest him , he will think. He’ll have to face the conflict he’s avoiding. Many things could go wrong if you stay. I’d rather not you risk it.
You could stay. But you will have to wait around to help. You’ll have to wait till he tires himself out.
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