10 years ago I met the love of my life or so i thought. We had a little boy together but never married. After 8 years of engagement he broke it off. We stayed friends and lived together while he went and found his “soulmate” They had a little girl. Due to finaces and my little boys behavioral issues, they had to give up their daughter to the grandparents. The mother still visits her daughter and spends time with her the father does not. We expanded our family by adding furbabies (rats, ferrets, hamsters, snakes, fish, bearded dragons, and a guinea pig. We then extended our family again by inviting the mothers childhood friends to live with us to help financially because at the time they were living in a van.
Now he is going through I guess I would call it a mid-life crisis. He is pushing everyone away and is trying to get the mother to leave her baby, dump her, send me and my son away, and go back to his old life. His old life was not a good one to say the least. If I leave, I strand the mother who has become a friend in need, I leave my friends, and the perks for my son like the drs. who know about his behavior and the amazing school he is in that helps him overcome his issues as well.
If i do stay, I miss out on moving to a state where I have family, friends, and support while I am in college. There are other nice things to moving, but I would be burning a ton of bridges if I do go.
The father has some type of issues. i don’t know what they are but he self sabotages every relationship that he has. I really care for him and don’t want him to lose his son because of his stupidity. I can’t talk to my friends because while they live with us and help out when they can, are affected by this too so they have no opinion on what we should do. I am at wits end and would kinda like to leave but part of me thinks we can work this through. If we can make it past this hurdle maybe he will wake up and realize what he is doing wrong and he can patch up his relationship with the mother.
If I take this up with my family, I would have no say in the matter and they would come and get me at the drop of a hat.
It’s Simple. Move.
This is all toxic , the idea of even staying around and trying to “work things out” makes zero sense to me. You clearly have no idea what to do , unless you’re waiting for a miracle to happen. You all need to leave. He’s doing nothing but trying to distract himself. When there are no distractions left and a white wall no longer interest him , he will think. He’ll have to face the conflict he’s avoiding. Many things could go wrong if you stay. I’d rather not you risk it.
You could stay. But you will have to wait around to help. You’ll have to wait till he tires himself out.
Wow im shocked that u even have to think about it He aint crazy or going through no mid life crisis he wants all of ya out thats way too many people in one house ur his ex and the mother of his son living with him and his new family and ya friends stay there too leave ur son might just need it too a different scenery but leaving is ur best option and u will be advancing urself you and your son can always come back and visit it but u owe it to the both of ya to be stable and to have ur own
It has been a while, but my ex and I talked. Due to how shitty (pardon my language) the house was, he suggested we leave. So I moved all the way fro KY to NC. I am living with my folks now. Good things… a lot!!! Bad things, I have a sister in law that is terrified of my Furbabies I have raised since they were infants fresh from their mama’s wombs. She is mentally fucked up cause my brother appears to be a douchebag, and she rarely sleeps so we have to be Uber quiet.
I feel like I can not win anywhere I go. People will most likely ask why not give up your son to his father? I can answer that easily. His daddy is going back to really bad habits and bringing around folks for his sexual appetites, and I do not like the way his new fiance raises my kid.
I am falling through the cracks here. If I leave my folks home, they will definitely die of a broken heart (i am not joking, they are old and have to go to the er when they fall) My son has what he needs here, but emotionally I can not carry every ones emotional weight around here.
I hate it and yet I always end up on relying on others. All I want is a part time job that allows me to care for my son and go to college while living on my own. I know that is a shit ton to ask for i really do. I mean I gave up on finding love, finding a true friend that I can talk to about this and gave up on ever truly seeing the bright side of things, but what will happen in the long run?
Medicaid here does not cover physcho bills unless that has changed and I could totally talk to one of them, I feel like every time a door of opportunity opens for me it traps me in another endless hallway with no way out.
I am surrounded by guilt and memories and Gods know what else that keep me awake at night. This is the only place I can vent and not feel guilty about unloading a shit storm that has been brewing.
I am afraid to go for help at a state level for fear that my kid will be taken from me. If that happens that will be one less tie holding me to this earth. He is my anchor and watching him grow shows me that there is hope for the people of this world. I do not say this lightly either. He is the type of boy that will use his last penny to see a person he has never met smile. (awsome story behind this one)
Right now I sit day in and day out doing nothing more than helping my folks. They are not so old and feeble that I can place them in homes, they would fight that tooth and nail and win. I do schoolwork, play on the internet, cook, clean, and sit….and sit…and sit….
nothing I can do will change the outcome but i don’t know i guess i need answers or affirmation i am doing at least ok. I need unbiased opinions on the bullshit I call life before i fragment into a thousand shards and fuck up the ones that i love and care for.
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