I have been going through the same problem for the past few years now and no matter who I talk to or what I say all I get in return is “Everyone goes through it.” “It’s a right of passage” etc etc and that doesn’t help or do anything for my emotional state. I understand that my problem is very common, that a lot of people have and are going through it, but that doesn’t change that it is effecting me as well.
My situation is this: back in 2013 I chose a field to go into, Pharmacy Technician. I thought that it would be a good fit for me, and the way that society is now you can’t try a field out you have to dive into it to “test” it. So I went through the hoops and did my best, ending up at $15k in student loans and jobless at graduation since I had to have full open availability for my internships. So now graduated and jobless, I didn’t qualify for unemployment or any other assistance having credit already open and no idea when a job would come my way.
However, the way in which my employer said I was terminated disqualified me from any unemployment benefits. I was again without a job, now with a car payment and a large rent at $800/month plus utilities and electrical. Two months go by with just my fiance working his part time job and us going deeper into debt and more past due in our bills until I can also get a part time job. I took the first thing that I could find.
I continued my search for more work and for more money to help get us back on our feet, since we hadn’t fully gotten there from before. They say, whoever they are, that a 3 month period of unemployment will land you at 1 year of catching up, so in total at this point we are looking at about a year and a half for me to play catch up.
Some time goes on, and my fiance loses his job. I have a full time job at this point and so we weren’t immediately panicked. I strove to work hard and get our bills paid, but I was still coming up short and getting increasingly stressed out. I tried working with my creditors, and to no avail, they all always shoot me down. “You can’t have a deferment because your credit is poor” My credit is poor because you won’t give me a deferment, because you know I am in a financial hardship and you don’t care. You know you could handle not getting a few of my payments a month if you rolled them to the end, where you still get them and even more interest for you; it works out for them but they still don’t help!
I think the hardest part for me at this point, we are now in a cheaper house having gotten through our lease at the old one, we both have part time jobs, which isn’t as ideal as full time, but we need to keep our happiness in consideration and we are both also full time students. We made a promise that after the move we would not get into a job just for the money, that it had to be one we enjoyed.
We are now very behind in bills from the move. I still have 2 months to catch up on car payments, my car insurance jumped up $20 a month, our internet provider throws random fees at us and is un-sympathetic to our plight even after a complaint to the FCC. My credit cards that are in a program through the ACCC are behind in payments and one is now in collections. We only buy food from the Dollar Store as that is what we can afford, but even then we have to be behind in bills to get stocked up. We owe $800 on our electric bill and that is increasing by the month as we pay what we can, it got that bad in the first place due to a “Comfort Level billing” situation when we had had a roommate using up way to much power and not contributing for it.
I look around and I see mountains of debt, huge bills rolling in daily, and no matter where I turn I get no assistance, I get no real ideas on how to fix it, and I don’t get any help from my fiance as it has gotten to the point where he has said that if it has to do with bills or anything like that he doesn’t even want to hear it, we have gotten in more fights lately and I am worried like my mothers first marriage that money is going to break us apart.
To add to it, I am a very strong willed man. It takes a lot to get me down and out, and where I am now is the deepest pit of dispair I have ever been in. I know there are those who have it worse off than I am, those that would see what I do have and say “I could handle a few phone calls a day if I had that” which is sad in it’s own right, but I am at the point that I have had very strong thoughts of suicide. I have never thought that way before, but because of the way of things, I honestly think that the world wouldn’t miss me, and that those who would would be better off without me around. The depression that I am in over something as measly as bills and debt has such a tight grip that I am slowly losing the battle. The saddest part of it all? All it would take is a consolidation loan of $9000 to pay off everything past due, everything currently behind, pay off the closed credit accounts that I have, and get me set for a month on bills. But nobody will even consider it, no peer to peer lenders, no banks, no credit unions. I don’t know how much more I can take of a world that won’t help someone out when it comes to something that is the amount of something so little. That isn’t even a car loan amount, and at a 10% interest rate with $150/month paying back, that is $900 more they would make off of me over a 5 year period; but nobody will listen to me that far. I put in my name, address, phone number and where I work as well as what I need and the next thing I know it’s a giant declined sign because of all of my debt, which is what the loan is for in the first place….
Thank you for listening/reading this long long letter. I really just needed to get it out of my mind and hopefully hear back something other than “it happens to everyone” as a solution. Again, thank you.
You should have taken things slowly instead of immediately jumping in with the big house and cars, there’s your number one problem. You worked yourself too hard the first job, take it easy on yourself there is plenty of people in farther debt than you. Try to tell yourself you have it good, that’s what many tell themselves just to help them get through mentally. Stay in a small place, try selling old things you won’t ever need, don’t go crazy with your money when you have it. You got this, suicide is not the answer because either way your family would be unhappy and the debt would most likely be put on them. That’s all I can really tell you. Good luck with the debt. (This probably isn’t helpful, srry)
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