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April 23, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Alright, I know that all of this is bad. Trust me, I know. 

This might get lengthy…

To put it nicely, I'm not a people person. I don't know how to act around people and I don't know how to relate to people. I have no idea how to have a real relationship. 

But of course, we all need a little companionship every now and then. So I looked for companionship in virtually the safest place I could find it: the internet. 

Yeah, there are pervs on the internet. But when you think about it, they can't physically get to you. 

So I would talk about anything and everything with a random screen name for a few hours, and then drop off the face of his world. No connection. No further anything. Just “Hello” shortly followed by “Goodbye”. It was best that way. 

I did that for a long time. About a year ago, I met a guy named Danny. He wasn't anything special at the time, he was just nice. He was also 8 years older than me, and he lived on the other side of the country. We talked for a few hours, and then again the next day…and the next. 

On the 30th, we'll have known each other for a year. I have never seen him. I have talked to him through the phone and voice chat on countless occasions.  

I don't trust him. I don't trust anyone, but I especially don't trust him. I don't know if I'm paranoid, or careful, or trying to make up for my stupidity. 

He has never given me a reason to not trust him. He's always supportive, and kind, and caring, and he's really not a bad person.

I've never told him my last name, or where exactly in CA I live, he doesn't know what high school I go to; I don't give out too many details. 

He could either be a really great “friend” and seriously just cares, and that's why he puts up with so few details- or he's obsessed/addicted and doesn't care about the details. 

He has told me on several occasions that he loves me. I believe that he loves who he thinks I am, but I hide so many things from him that he doesn't really know me at all. 

 

 

I know this vent doesn't really have a point, but I felt like I should tell SOMEONE about Danny. I haven't spoken about him to anyone ever.