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December 13, 2013 at 2:45 pm

This is a very long story, so please bear with me……


My older brother and I are not very close.  He is 9 years older and growing up he was often in a lot of trouble with the law and was in and out of juvenile facilities and jail.  He has had severe drug issues and frankly I cut him from my life 20+ years ago because I didn't want to have anything to do with any of his drama.


About 5 years ago he started to get his life together.  He was release from prison and stopped using.  He got a job and started to try to clean things up.  I started a very limited relationship with him online (i.e. Facebook, email) because honestly I didn't believe he was going to keep it together and I didn't want my kids to become attached to an uncle that could end up hurting them or disappearing back to prison.


About a year or so ago he started seeing a woman named Dana.  They live together in north Texas (I'm in south Texas about 250 miles away), and like I said, my relationship with him is limited to being friends on FB–I have not seen or talked to him in more than 20 years which means I have never met nor talked to Dana.


Now to add to all of this, my brother and I have VERY different opinions on most things like politics, religion, and most social issues.  He is very Conservative while I tend to lean to the Liberal side.  Since we disagree on most things, we tended to keep our communications to playing Words with Friends or commenting on each others photos, etc.


About 3 months ago he posted an online article that has been floating around for years about Jane Fonda being named Woman of the Year–this time by President Obama–it was a really vicious article about 'Hanoi Jane' and her traitorous acts, etc.  I simply replied to his post that the article was not accurate that it had been floating around the internet for years and that President Obama was not naming her anything.  I was not rude, not mean…just simply stated that the article was not accurate.  My brother never replied to my post however Dana did…she lit into me like I had just insulted her mother!  She called me a “small-minded F**ktard” and basically said I was a complete moron.


I sent back a carefully worded response in which I told her that she had never met me, had never spoken to me and I really didn't understand where all the hostility was coming from.  That while I do not believe in everything she and my brother do, I was neither small-minded nor a moron and that I couldn't believe she could be so critical of someone she had never met who happened to be the little sister of the man she is in love with.  She replied with a very short sorry and that was it.


A few weeks later, my brother posted a somewhat insulting democrat joke to his FB and tagged me in it…I know he meant it as a joke and I posted back that the same could be said for Republicans and gave him a little smiley face.  Dana then posted that she was glad she was a conservative and that she would pray for me.  I should have dropped it but frankly I was getting a little tired of her condescending attitude so I said “No need to pray…I'm doing fine, thanks”.  Again, the venom came out and she went off saying that it was a free country and from what she has read (I assume on my FB page) I need prayer and that she believes a Godless house is child abuse and she will pray that my children will turn out fine.  UM…HELLO?!?!  When were you EVER in my house??  How do you know what I do or do not teach my children??


At this point, I emailed my brother and said that I didn't think we could continue to communicate on FB–that every time I turned around Dana was posting some nasty, condescending comment about me or my kids.  That I felt she was the one that needed prayer since it appears that she can do nothing but spread hate and insults.  My brother emailed back and said he understood.


So now Christmas has rolled around and just like I did last year, I sent a Christmas card to my brother along with a photo of my family.  As I have two small children and not a lot of time on my hands, my cards are not as personalized as I would like but I made sure to write inside the card “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Martin and Dana” Love, Holly, husband, son, daughter (you get the idea).  When I addressed the envelope I just put my brother's last name and address on the envelope.  Honestly, at the time I didn't know what Dana's last name was and it never occurred to me to take the time to ask or to look it up on FB.


So today I get an envelope in the mail (no return address) and inside is my Christmas card to my brother–UNOPENED–at first I thought, oh, I must have the wrong address or something–but then how did it get into this new envelope–the post office would just put a sticker on it and send it back to me.  So I call my mom and ask if my brother had moved.  She said she had been meaning to call all day but hadn't had the chance.  My brother had called last night very upset and said that while he was at work on Wednesday, Dana had received the mail, and was so completely offended that I didn't put HER name on the envelope that she just stuck it in an envelope and mailed it back to me. 


SERIOUSLY?!?!  Why would I WANT to send anything to her?!?!  I did not to it on purpose but for love the of God–for someone who claims to be so Christian and is praying for me she sends it back without my brother even getting to see it?!  I am just at a complete loss as to how to deal with this woman.  I go out of my way to be nice to people–some times at great cost to me–I have never intentionally set out to hurt someone and I just do not understand how she can hate me so much when she has never even set eyes on me–I wouldn't know her if she walked up to my front door! 


Someone–anyone–please tell me what to do about this woman!!