I have held in so much from this stupid year i'm surprised that i havn't broken down entirely yet.
URGH the feeling of your boyfriend mocking you and being totally inconsierate, rude and rejectful is the most frustrating feeling in the WORLD. ilove my boyfriend. a lot. and ihave sacrificed so much for him. ive moved out of home – to live with my cousin away from my mum and siblings as her boyfriend and mine dont get on. ive lost the people in my 'click' who were once the closest people to me to make him 'happy' as he doesnt get on with them either.
what more can i possibly do?
not to say my boyfriend isnt great. he's awesome when hes in a good mood at least. but extremely threatened by anyone that gets a little too comfortale around me. ive told him that i wanted to keep it mutual with everyone now – to cause less drama and to at least have SOME friends. not that i havnt made anymore new ones.
tonight? it just so happens one of my 'ex' close friends who is also my ex boyfriend -.- tagged me in a facebook post. so i talked to him. during our drama days he said my boyfriend 'wasnt worth all this' and hence my boyfriend hates him more. to smother any misunderstandings and what not i PURPOSELY told him about it. and he just 'brushed' it off like it didnt bother him. next thing you know? he starts 'laughing' about the issue and how i can still 'interact' with him after what he said. W.TF!
i stated that i clearly said i wanted to keep it mutual/neutral with everyone – he agreed. and then goes and laughs some more because he cant see the post n thinks ive 'removed it'.
i explained to him that i have no reason to remove it. i sent him the link when i first told him abt it as well so he could easily go onto my account and read it whenever. his reply? 'all gooot i dont want to see it newaiis, the good convos you have between you two'
boy did that make my blood boil. he's scared that i'll cheat on him? leave him? fucking what not at this rate his fears are probably going to come true.
a quick handball with a goodnight and that was the end of him for tonight.
how fucking insensitive can some males be.
FUCK pisses me off so much, and considering this isnt even the first time..ha.
All I can say is why put up with it? You sound young. I bet you are pretty and smart, too. Not that he would notice. You have probably lost some self esteem because of him. Otherwise you wouldn't take this shit he puts out! A real boyfriend wants to be friends with your friends. Doesn't have to like them all, but he should let you like them. I know what it's like to be young and crazy in love with a guy that's only great when he's in a good mood. Screw that stuff. Someday, you get older (take my word for it!) and you're stuck in situations you can't get out of. While you're still young, move on. Make your own way, and be your own person. Love yourself, and find real love. Good luck.
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