Hell knows how to start this so i'll just dive right in. If any of this sounds familiar to you, please share and if you get to the end of this I'll probably give you a cookie.
Family always bails on you, totally forgets you and anything you say. In the morning I get dropped off and ask to have some money to catch a bus home, family member says 'dont worry i'll pick you up at 5'. I wait getting pretty impatient and sending a few texts to ask where they are. Two hours later they call saying sorry, they forgot and will be there in half an hour. In the mean time I've sat waiting with nothing I could do and several creeps sidling up to me. Its not just on one or two occasions it's all the freaking time even when I was a little kid. I do my best to keep to schedules and its like they cant be bothered to even think about me.
Then there's my sister, she's four years older but we get on really great. Except when she doesn't keep her promises, its just a load of little things like promising to help me with this or meet up now and then but something always come up with her bloody boyfriend. Yeah I guess i am a bit jealous, she's going away to china for a year in a few weeks but she lives with him for now and he always comes first these days when it used to be just me and her. Now she just comes to me when somethings wrong.
Parents are parents, too caught up in their lives to think about yours yet are all ready certain you want to hear what a bitch their co-worker has been today.
Finally on the family front there is the brother. We get on providing we dont see or talk to each other. He's the lazy favorite of the family who has no job and just sits round the house all day making a mess…. which I must of corse clean up with the rest of the house when I get back form school and work (typically an 11 hour day and saturdays).
Next rant: Friends.
I used to own a fantastic set of social skills but recently due to the previous and the next rant they are some what jaded. I used to be a part of a large group of fun friends (15+ guys and girls who where like best friends with everyone). And now after moving school, they mostly seem to have totally forgotten about me. At my new school I have a lot of new friends but they've all know each other for years and have tons of in jokes so I feel kind of… left out. This does not help my personality much as I am fast on my way to becoming a bitter woman.
Hopefully for the sake of your sanity and interest my final rant: Relationships
Oh yes the big 'R' in life, the only thing but their bright futures teenagers seem to be able to talk about on a daily basis. Kate and Ed did this, Amy and Brian will this! is it love? who cares? its fantastic for them but chances of them staying together are slimmer than an anorexic, so leave them be and let them be happy while it lasts!
The first proper relationship I had was sabotaged by a girl who was jealous of me and fancied my boyfriend. She spread a ton of nasty roomers and basically just tore our relationship apart. Even worse the basterd went out with her a week later. The only comfort I take from this is she got bored and dumped him after two timing. Nasty thing to take comfort in but im still only human.
The second is when a 'friend' I was helping assaulted me when he was drunk other 'friends' around did nothing to help me. He says he doesn't remember anything, but im not going near him again.
The third is really quite recent. Classic story of girl falling head over heels for smart, charismatic guy. Girl befriends guy and buries feelings. Guy finds out girl's feeling and flirts like crazy for six months before kissing her. He then doesn't contact said confused albeit happy girl for about two weeks. If only I could say it ends there. It then becomes the classics of all classics: When finally confronted about whats going on he spins out the tragic tale of us living to far apart for a relationship. Bull. 20 minutes car ride or 10 minutes train. A few days later I find out he has a girlfriend and now acts like I dont exists to our mutual friends.
Yeah relationships have been basterds to me, im sure people have faced worse but this alone makes me want to scream and run a million miles from a relationship. Which sucks because I really want a successful one.
So it seems, that everyone has slipped and damaged their memories of me. I just want to live a normal, good life: work hard, get a job and at some point raise 2.5 kids and a dog in suburbia with my husband. I really want to learn how to get close to people again and feel valued as a person not just a vaguely pretty blonde to hit on or as a bother to my family or an out cast/old memory to my friends. I work hard in life and do my best and though im just painfully average with a few odd quirks, would it have killed just one of those people to think about me?
I think thats it, no I lie- im a little too sleepy for thinking right now… -_-“
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