Author Posts

June 4, 2016 at 6:17 am

OK, I am 22 years old and I just had the most terrible year of my life. I lost three grand parents in the last 8 months. And I am crying every two days, and I have terrible mood swings. I feel angry all the time, and I am fighting constantly with all my friends. I’m pushing them away, and a part of me thinks that’s best because I’m just a terrible friend right now. But I can’t deal with these emotions on my own, I feel this pain in my chest. And I just want to scream!! I don’t know what to do anymore. I used to be this happy bubble person, and now I am this mean angry person. I live together in this house with my friends, but I don’t spend any time with them anymore because I’m just not up to it. But every time I hear them laugh I get so jealous. And now I told a friend how I feel, and he said that it seems that I want him to feel unhappy too. But that’s not true I don’t want anybody to feel the way I feel, I just wish somebody would understand. Because I feel so alone, even though I’m living together with my friends. And that’s such a horrible feeling. And I can’t take it anymore, cause when I cry they sometimes hear it and then I feel like a little child whose screaming for attention. But when I don’t cry I get angry and then I’m just a bitch. I’m sick of this life, I want to be able to feel normal again. But it’s been going on for months and it’s not getting any better. My parents have no idea how I feel. I just started dating this new guy and off course he has no clue either. It’s only my roommates who really know how I feel, and I’m pushing them away. And they’re perfectly good people, but I’m treating them like crap.