Its hard to deal sometimes with having so many suicidal friends. My best friend as of six years goes in and out of being suicidal. My childhood best friend who I recently in the past two years have gotten in contact again is also suicidal. Not to mention two of my good friends are also in and out of being suicidal. Funny thing though they all only talk to me about it. I'm making sure they are all taken care of in there own ways. Convincing one to go to a therapist convincing another to talk to his mom…but never seems to be a general fix for that is there? I once told someone about all the friends I have in hard situations ,(I also have a friend who is abused), they were quite shocked and asked “Where do you live!?” lol..I actually live in a pretty normal town, it seems people who need a listening ear are just attracted to me I guess. I suppose I'm writing this because I just wanted to get this off my chest… I'm uber calm when talking my friends out of suicide and stuff like that…but you know sometimes it gets to me that my friends…my best friend…have come so close to taking their lives. My mom gets mad at me for leaving my cell on throughout the night…but she doesn't realize why I have to. I tried telling her a few times but she thinks I'm exaggerating, or she worries about the stress I'm under and starts resenting my friends… wonderful. ugh. I just…you know that thing where people ask if you had one wish what would you wish for? I would wish nobody would ever have the life or be in the situation where they want to die, where they are in so much pain that they want to kill them self convinced that is the only way.
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