Author Posts

March 5, 2011 at 7:20 am

i used to be one of the coolest guys in high school, girls liked me guys wanted to be me.  i had problems i needeed to vent about and i would do so to close friends.  now it seems i hav no close friends to vent to and no girls to hang out with.  im sicck of crying out to noone with my pains and struggles going unatended.  i still have my friends but for some reason cant tell them ( i guess they would think im weird maybe because i just started hangin with them alot this year and none of them know me enough yet).  i want a girlfriend so she can hold me because the last time i held a girl close was too long ago. im only 17 but out of those 17 years this is the loneliest ive fealt.  i cant even talk to my parents because the said thing is i tried sooo hard to keep them out of my life that they dont know me and where i come from. im a pothead. i blaze everyday… unfortunately. im realizing pot killed me. killed my ambition for girls and need for family and someone to be there to vent to.  im realizing this now because im quittin pot.  i hav friends still and go out and party on weekends but the girls dont seem interested anymore like they were just 2 or 3 years ago wen i couldnt get them off. i miss those days, what happened? why am i treated as if im some sort of outsider yet hang out with you guys everyday. why wont a girl come over to my house some friday night so we can hav pointless high school sex. why wont a girl have a full conversation with me anymore and learn whats below the surface. i hav short brown hair, crazy “beautiful” hazel eyes and a 6 pack. im also really nice, i tell the truth, i would love to be there for people when they have a problem and im funny. i hate what my life has become and wish it would just turn upwards. will college help or kill me?? what can i do to be able to talk top a girl and not have it turn into an awkward silence??

     Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on.~BLOW
i know it does but what do you loose on the way 🙁

March 5, 2011 at 7:32 am

i just looked in the mirror. i know what it means when people talk about the tears of a clown. why can noone takew me seriously im a person as well just like the guy yu fucked at the party the other night. the only thing is im NOT the guy you fucked at a party the other night, i was the guy sittin in the garage gettin high with the boys and then goin in tryin to dance with girls but they just danced the other way…………..

March 6, 2011 at 11:11 am

Oh, honey.  I know how you feel.  It's called growing up.  It happens to everyone.  The friends you once had are doing their own things.  They still love you, but the closeness you once had is gone.  In a way, you are really lucky.  This growing up thing is kinda painful to see sometimes, but the sooner you realize it, the better.  I didn't get these feelings like you have until I was 25 years old, and by then, it was too damn late to do anything about reinventing myself.  Things just aren't as easy when you get older.  If you really think a relationship is going to help you, well, it's only a temporary fix.  If you think life is better when you are with someone. please refer to my post about the jobless boyfriend, or the one titled at least I know where he gets it from.  Any happiness I have in life is not from him.  It's because of my own accomplishments.  Good for you that you are going to college.  Don't mess that up and quit like I did.  It's harder to go back later and fix that mistake.  The next few years are going to be such a growth and eyopening time for you.  If you concentrate less on finding someone and more on finding yourself, you will be fine.  You will find that the things you thought were so important, are really silly, and you will be so proud of all you have become.  Times are so hard for people of all ages these days, and I don't wish to be your age again for anything.  Just keep on pushing through the hard times.  It does get better.  And don't set your hopes on styling your life after someone else's or some movie/book.  Everyone is different, and just because someone seems to have it together, and have everything, often you will find they are wishing they have what you have.  Everyone is different, and everyone thinks “if only my life was like so-and-so's life, I would have it all.”  the truth is you are the only one who can live your life.  You have to make decisions because they work for you, not someone else.  As far as being a pot head, hey, I'm all for that stuff.  I think there are great benefits to it sometimes, but only if used right, and when you are older.  Stay away from things like that right now.  You need to be an active participant in your life, and that stuff doesn't help.  NEVER, NEVER give up looking for the right girl, not just posers and one night stands.  I'll be 39 next week, and I can tell you even at my age, love is hard to find, but life can be ok without it.  Love doesn't just come from relationships.  It comes from family, friends, and many other places.  Romantic love usually comes when you aren't looking.  Just know that no bad time is forever, and you are not crazy.  You are completely where you should be at your age.  Get to know yourself, and be someone you and some girl in the future can be proud of.  I hope my “old person” advice helps you.  GOOD LUCK, friend!

August 7, 2011 at 3:36 am

    First off, not to be mean or anything, but you contradicted yourself hard. You want to have pointless high school sex but expect the girl to hold you and wipe the tears from your eyes whenever you get blue? And you said that you stopped smoking pot but then you said that you just got high at some party?

       Dude, this is what you have to do before you become a worthless person just like my brother: stop smoking the pot, some “cool guys” are cool AND can get high because they are intelligent and can handle the drugs, most people can't. I'm sorry to say but you can't handle it, so STOP!Next, stop looking for sex, look for a REAL relationship. Hell, I wasn't even looking and I found my first boyfriend and after a while, YES A WHILE, we started to have sex. And he's a sensitive guy, just like you seem to be and I LOVE that about him. He was a crack baby and was abused as a child until he was TEN! And some days we'll be playing and he'll start crying and I'd just hold him because I'm not just some girl that he fucks I'm the love of his life and he wants me to hold him and make his life better by just being there for him, and vice-versa.

        Next, go and live life! I was a total loser who had NO friends, I really had no one to talk to until I was 15. Freshman year I just said to myself that I was going to be  out there, hang with friends who got me out of the house and who talked to me like a friend and who cared about me. All I focused on was grades and friends. That landed me more friends and even the love of my life. So I would suggest to do the same. And if you don't make friends who are HEALTHY to ur body and school life then dump them and get better ones because that is what you deserve.

      Don't worry about that special girl , time will fix all problems, so let her come to you or you to her, but for now just keep an eye open and be better because you can be.


September 23, 2011 at 5:57 pm

I understand you fully, except I'm not popular. In anyway.

I just moved to somewhere new, and I already feel like my friends have forgotten me – wpnt answer my texts. I have “friends” here, but there's only been about 3 weeks of school, so we don't totally all know each other. My grades are slipping at a school that actually gives a shit about whether or not I learn. And I feel like I need someone to hold me too. I know a relationship wont fix it, but it's a start. I think I want someone to give a shit. To really care. I think I have these people but I'm not sure. I've tried to talk but it doesn't work. It's been this way for years and I think I don't know how to talk to people effectively anymore. I feel like a piece of shit.

Anyway, I hear you.  Completely.