Arc posted an update 1 year, 2 months ago
I don’t know what to do anymore. Never been through a break-up like this. I didn’t want to break up with her but I have to, the reasoning was good….at least that’s what I’ve been tellin myself. I question if it was really the right thing to do; My head tells me “yes yes of course, she was draining you, and you couldn’t deal with it any longer” and then my heart tells me “no….you made a mistake….you don’t understand what she’s been through she can’t be happy all the time”…….but it didn’t want her to be….I didn’t need her to be. All I wanted was for her to finally climb out if that hole she’s in and understand that life has SO much more to offer than what she has been shown. But no, In the end I couldn’t help her out of her hole, and I ended it….am I selfish for doing that? Since I couldn’t change her I just up and leave…..am I narcissistic to think that I in some way would automatically be enough to change her view of life just from being……me? I’m sick for feeling this way, i’m sick of feeling sad, i’m sick of feeling this pit in my stomach, and i’m sick of feeling stupid from feeling this way. I have to let her go, and it seemed easy in thought, but in reality…it’s not. (sigh)……..